Understanding your core values through reflection

The last 5 years have been quite the journey. I lost my beloved dog of nearly 15 years, went through a divorce, and moved to a new city. I then discovered new love, bought a house with her, and moved in together with our new dog! Recently, I made the switch from consulting for a living to a working full-time job and that was a step I wasn’t sure I was going to make again. Jess Hatzis’ piece, “How to define your core values”, really got me thinking about my current life and the one I want to build and how that evolves over time.

We often talk about values when it comes to branding of companies and products. What do we stand by, and more importantly, why do we stand by it?

To me they are the “why” of my life.
They define how I make decisions. They define what I do with my work life and my spare time. It’s how I make impact on those around me. It’s what gives my life its unique meaning.
How to define your core values

When I started consulting 15 years ago, I was strongly driven by the desire for autonomy. In my perhaps naive thinking, running my own consultancy meant I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I longed to travel as much as possible and that unfortunately requires a good bit of money — my second motivation for consulting.

By the end of my consulting career, I was fortunate enough to have made a name for myself, so the hustle to get projects wasn’t as difficult. The first 10 years weren’t easy by any means. They were was a lot of work. And here's the thing, if you’re a consultant eager to make money, you WILL end up giving away all your freedom. I rarely took time off and canceled countless planned vacations because new work came up as that was the priority.

I chuckle a little when I hear freelancers argue that you can make more money on your own versus being an employee. Sure, that may be true as I’ve taken a substantial pay cut transitioning to full-time, but I feel like I actually have more autonomy now. I get paid time off, paid sick leave, and even paid parental leave!

Reflection

Reflecting on my core values today, I realize they're quite different from what they were 15 years ago. Maybe that's just how it should be? Values are always evolving, but I wanted to share where my head is at right now:

1. Safety – it’s become obvious that I’m not the risk-taker I was 20 years ago. What I value most is financial safety. It’s important to me to shop for groceries without thinking about prices. I still love traveling and discovering new places, but I can only enjoy it knowing I have a solid foundation at home. A place where I can be myself and find peace and stability. This is a sense of psychological safety has become essential for my well-being and comfort.
2. Flexibility – Flexibility has always been crucial to me. The funny part of this is if you ask anyone who knows me, they’ll tell you I’m all about routines and structure. While I tend to stick to my routines (ideally, I’d have the same breakfast every day for the rest of my life), flexibility is more about knowing I have the option and ability to change when I choose. If I decide to work out in the morning, I don’t want a 9-5 job to hold me back. I steer clear of a packed calendar of meetings, not because I dislike them, but because they cut into my flexibility.

I think it’s helpful to reflect on what’s important in your life to truly enjoy it. This reflection allows you to align your actions and goals with your core values and passions. Just like when building products, the key isn't to focus on what to build, but rather why it needs to be built. Understanding the underlying purpose behind your actions provides clarity and inspires your next steps. Your journey more fulfilling because you crafted it.

In business, successful outcomes often stem from a deep understanding of the problem you're trying to solve and the value it brings to users. Similarly, in life, recognizing your "why" can lead to more meaningful experiences and a greater sense of accomplishment. It shifts the focus from merely achieving goals to finding joy and purpose in the journey itself.

Regularly exercising meaningful reflection on your priorities and motivations makes you true to yourself and confident in the actions you need to take. For me, I’ve found this practice has enhanced my overall sense of well-being and better able to navigate challenges of life with purpose and resilience. Give it a try!